


Man on The Moon.

by Wikaa120



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: I love Luther Hargreeves, I love everyone but Reginald and Carl, Inspired by The Umbrella Academy, Let's not forget he has trauma, Luther Hargreeves Deserves Better, Luther Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Other, POV Luther Hargreeves, Soft Luther Hargreeves, The Umbrella Academy (TV) Spoilers, This is a quick summary of him, and I wont shut up about it?, and he is valid, and it's valid, but Luther deserves recognition, tua - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27746188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wikaa120/pseuds/Wikaa120
Summary: "If you believe... They put a man on the moon." - R.E.M.A summary of Luther Hargreeves justification, or more so- explanation of his trauma, and why he deserves to be validated just as well as every other sibling in the Academy. He is my favorite of the siblings, and I will fight for his rights. No, I don't agree with some stuff he did, and the writing did him dirty - yet, I understand most of his motives. I wanted to speak up and show my portrayal of what he could've felt like. He has a good heart that has been heavily abused.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	Man on The Moon.

All the odds were going to build up to this, at least at some point. Everything spiralled around with the amount of arguments, hidden grudges that one held onto way too tight to let go. The once broken trust ( unless it was never really there in the first place, or not for real ). Forced by the controller to assure that you never break, that _you_ will never break out of his cold, forceful and bony hands. Perhaps he was aware of all this happening around him, well, the signs had been dropped all around him for months, years even ━ but Luther hoped it would not come to this. He hoped there was a way of stopping all of them from walking out, even if he knew how they felt. He yet, couldn’t let himself go and leave the house, knowing that despite everything, the only person that apparently was supposed to give a shit, was still there. Stayed, while everyone else had left. His purpose was absolutely _not_ to go against it, he was not an actual human being in the way of speaking ━ and especially not in his way of thinking. He’s been born for much better things, such sayings Reginald would drop over his head to build up his courage and motivation to do better not only in training, but in missions. Luther has grown to understand that the only way he could be shown care from anyone, is by giving him much greater tasks ━ presenting him that way that he, _in fact_ , was ready for better. It was the only care and gratitude he’s ever achieved in any kind of way. But, at the age of seventeen with every sibling talking behind his back and a father, who dared to scold all of them, Luther included ━ was he supposed to know that he was being favorized just to be overused and tossed away?  
His mission was _still_ awaiting him, which was literally all he had always known. All he’d gotten used to, and the fear of leaving that behind, of not fulfilling his apparent destiny was too great for his already selfish pride that Reginald did nothing to but nurture, just so Luther would get used to being constantly given different tasks. Only those tasks were signs of toxic care, but how could he know better, really? With no one ever showing any of them, what it is to be properly raised? He never meant harm to any of his siblings, but at most he was being forced to understand that he is not to rely on any of his siblings by showing them care, but by constantly reminding them to do better. That was supposed to bring them motivation to work on themselves and overcome the problems, while he, himself, was constantly pushed to only do more and more ━ unable to actually help any of them while he struggled watching them suffer. His signs of weakness like that were the greatest failure for Reginald. Was it then that he’d lost faith in Luther? Even if, then Luther would still be bound to believe in his inevitable mission at saving the world, or, as he preferred to believe ━ _help dad save it._

Being treated differently ━ with less hatred actually shown from dad his way, Luther started to believe he deserved _not_ to be hated by him, because he was doing things right. Since everyone was getting punished and he, rarer than anyone else. It must’ve meant he was worth it, and with no previous nor any other affection in his life Luther got attached to that very kind of it. He could only end up feeling sorry for himself, which he definitely did ━ in that horrifyingly enormous Academy, all alone. He thought he was left alone by the only people that in the end he was supposed to rely on.  
He had tried to help them out, but each attempt ended up with father lecturing him, which could, in the end, lead to him losing his place. If there was one thing he couldn’t allow himself to do ━ it was _failing_. That took the better of him, no matter the guilt that rose in his heart when everyone else said their goodbyes to him. He could’ve tried harder, but wouldn’t all of them be punished, if he did? Luther, whenever tried taking one for the team, was humiliated and had to whiststand. Dad made sure a great deal of making his ego rise up with each passing task, so even at this point ━ he wanted to believe he was still built for great things. But all alone? It was horrible, he missed the arguments, any kind of noises or conversations, the eventual quietly shared laughters here and there. He missed it all, every single one of his siblings, and there was no way of showing them that he was sorry ━ perhaps not yet, since if he did, he could as well be gone from the facility. Back then, it wasn’t a thing he wanted, led to believe his whole life that the world held nothing else for him. If he wasn’t Number One, then he might as well _not_ exist anymore. 

These long years though, they took a toll on him. Was it really them, who walked out on him, or was it Luther, who walked out on them? The answer although, couldn’t be more complex and explicit to explain. In Umbrella Academy, not a single thing was actually black or white, it was all a chain reaction. How Luther behaved, it was all triggered by what Reginald had done to him, all of them. Every single step was his choice, and yet ━ their dad knew how to control him well.  
He used him, and made him bail on his siblings without the ounce of care in his soulless body. But the washes of guilt that came in waves with the upcoming years, especially after realizing the actual harm he’s done? Those are the scars, wounds and paining he is never going to forgive himself for. He could’ve done better.

And, on the top of it all ━ Luther still didn’t believe he was made for anything else, that the world actually would hold anything for him. But now, he just doesn’t feel like he deserves it.


End file.
